None of us escape losing what or who we love. We lose people, relationships, dreams, ability, health, identities, and so much more. As Elizabeth Gilbert observed, “Eventually, everything goes away.”[1] Still, the universality of loss does not make the intensity of pain that follows it any less burdensome.
These two poems, written for people dear to me, are about grieving. Whether as writers or readers, poetry can help assuage the pain of grief because a poem makes us feel less alone. Loneliness adds to the sting of loss, to the suffering amid suffering. Reminders that we need not grieve alone and that love endures, beyond even our most significant losses, can help us feel less lonely and help us grieve in more peaceful and restorative ways. I hope these poems will be such a reminder for you.
Still Here
When you live the absence of your beloved—
A dead heart, listless soul, lungs gasping for air,
Unending reminders of life disappeared,
Taken so quickly it feels unfair,
Reasons unclear,
Days harder to bear—
Remember this prayer.
Beware of bitter despair,
Weighty regrets, intractable fears.
Sit each day with memories you shared,
Amid your pain, open your heart,
Face your fear,
Your beloved remains near.
Still here.
What We Have
As the difficult news stings my soul,
Weighed down by concern
For you and our future,
I remember that tomorrow does not yet exist.
Only today.
We have today’s minutes,
Moments filled with unwavering love
Of family and friends.
We have loyal colleagues,
Devoted students,
Wise spiritual guides,
Zumba and boat rides,
We have our dogs,
Stained glass mosaics,
Thai dinners,
Brilliant doctors beside us.
We have our causes and legacies,
Our passions and good work to do.
We have life, precious living,
We have love, in this moment.
A stinging soul need not be lonely,
Nor afraid.
What we have can comfort and sustain us,
Through our worries and uncertainties,
In our fights for healing,
Reminding us of love that does not let go.
In this moment,
And when tomorrow comes.
__________
[1] Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love (London: Bloomsbury, 2007), 150.
Photo by Francesco Baldan on Unsplash
Allan Cole is a professor in The Steve Hicks School of Social Work at The University of Texas at Austin and, by courtesy, a professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Dell Medical School. Diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 2016, at the age of 48, he serves on the Board of Directors at Power for Parkinson’s, a non-profit organization that provides free exercise, dance, and singing classes for people living with Parkinson’s disease in Central Texas, nationally, and globally. He also serves as a Community Advocate for ParkinsonsDisease.net and as a regular guest contributor to the Michael J. Fox Foundation’s Team Fox Blog, writing columns about living well with Parkinson’s. Allan is the author or editor of many books on a range of topics related to bereavement, anxiety, and spirituality. His latest book is Counseling Persons with Parkinson’s Disease (Oxford University Press, 2021). His next book, Discerning the Way: Lessons from Parkinson’s Disease (Cascade), will be published later this year. He is also working on a book of poetry titled On Living with Chronic Illness: Porch Poems (Resource Publications), which will be published in 2022. Follow him on Twitter @PDWise.