The four of us have just left Frankie’s house and gotten on MoPac Expressway when we hear it: thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump… If you’ve ever heard this sound, then you know immediately what it is.
Frankie is my daughter Meredith’s closest friend and today is her 14th birthday. Since COVID-19 and physical distancing have nixed any party, we decide to ride by Frankie’s house and sing Happy Birthday to her and her family—us in the car at the curb, with them standing on their front lawn. After being “quarantined” for nearly three weeks and counting, this drive by serenade gives us all a little boost. I hope Frankie feels celebrated.
After slowly exiting MoPac and parking the car on a neighborhood side street, I lift up the hatchback, locate the spare tire, jack, and other tools I’ll need, and get to work. My wife Tracey, our girls, and one of our dogs, Hank, sit on the curb and offer commentary on the scene. A man about my age rides by on a fancy bicycle and asks, “Are y’all OK?” After Tracey assures him that we are, he waves and pedals by while keeping 6-8 feet away.
I literally haven’t changed a flat tire in decades. When Tracey or I have a flat, we just call AAA and they come fix it. It’s the best deal $56 a year will buy. But we are in the middle of a pandemic, and who knows whether AAA can even send someone to help, and we need to get our other daughter Holly home for her dance class via Zoom, and Meredith has homework…and, well, I have Parkinson’s disease…
So I’m changing that $@%&^*# tire!
Slightly loosening the lug nuts, I place the jack in the appropriate place on the car’s frame, just in front of the rear wheel well. Then, with my left arm mildly shaking as I reach for the handle, I slowly turn it and the car begins to lift.
One of the most common Parkinson’s symptoms is hand tremors, especially when the hands are at rest. I don’t have much of that. What I do have is a stiff left arm, wrist, and hand; and when they become fatigued—like when carrying something heavy, such as a tire; or when gripping something tightly for several seconds, such as a tire iron; or when loosening lug nuts or turning a jack handle, they can start to shake a little and hurt. Couple this shaking with the constant lack of dexterity in my left hand, and it leaves a lot to be desired.
Did I mention that I’m left handed?
This is my life with Parkinson’s.
So far, it’s mostly little things that are getting harder. Writing and typing, buttoning a shirt and shaving, gripping a pair of pliers, threading lug nuts properly in order to tighten them back up. Using a screwdriver. And please, don’t ask me to thread a needle!
But here’s the thing: being able to do the little things, even when I am shaky at it, helps me believe I’ll be able to do the bigger things longer, and not have to call on somebody to do these bigger things for me.
I tighten the last lug nut holding the spare tire in place. In all, it takes about 45 minutes, and Holly will make her dance class. As I wipe the sweat from my forehead and pack up my tools, I think back to one day earlier, when Meredith reminded me that she will be driving in two years. When she mentioned this, I told her that in order to drive, and even before she takes the test for her license, she has to show me she can change a flat tire. “You can’t always depend on AAA,” I said, “and it’s a life skill everyone should have.”
Who knew that less than 24 hours later she would have a front row seat watching her Dad change a tire?
As part of his own test.
__________
Photo: Tracey Cole
Allan Cole is a professor in The Steve Hicks School of Social Work at The University of Texas at Austin and, by courtesy, professor of psychiatry in the Dell Medical School. Diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 2016, at the age of 48, he serves on the Board of Directors at Power for Parkinson’s, a non-profit organization that provides free exercise, dance, and singing classes for people living with Parkinson’s disease in Central Texas, and globally via instructional videos. He also serves as a Community Advocate for ParkinsonsDisease.net, writing columns about living well with Parkinson’s. He is author or editor of 10 books on a range of topics related to bereavement, anxiety, and spirituality. Currently, he is writing a book on counseling people with Parkinson’s disease, which will be published by Oxford University Press. Follow him on Twitter @PDWise